Customer Relations

This actually happened long before I burnt out and had to take a vacation (for three months).

I was working the bar ALONE during a rush. This is actually pretty difficult.
You have to be organized, be able to think fast, plan ahead, and multi-task.

I have a hard enough time brushing my teeth and looking in the mirror at the same time.

Anyway,
I had a line of five or six drinks that needed skim milk, and one venti hot chocolate (with whole milk).

As I was stressing to get all seven drinks finished in a minute and a half, I mistakenly poured skim milk into the dude's hot chocolate.

Not even a second after I poured the milk, I realized that I had made a mistake and went to remark the cup and start over.

As I was marking the new cup, the customer, who was hovering over the bar, said with a very bitchy attitude "I saw you pour skim into that cup. You had better not try and give me that crap."
I apologized and commented that I was a little stressed and brainless that day.
He said "Well, Starbucks obviously has no problem hiring morons."

I didn't look up, but I replied:
"Why? Are you looking for a job?"

The man left without taking his drink.

Whatever. F him.

It was me.

I was an asshole Starbucks customer today.

I ordered a rediculous drink. (A triple grande breve dry cappuccino.) I don't know. Is it rediculous?

Anyway, the barista handed me a triple grande breve latte-- which is a FAR cry from a dry cappuccino.

I cringed and asked her to remake it.

She rolled her eyes. She ACTUALLY rolled her eyes.

I ignored this.

She remade my drink.

It was, again, a breve latte.

I said, as politely as I could "You know that dry means mostly foam, right?"

She rolled her eyes again, snatched the cup off the hand-off counter, steamed some breve, poured 3 shots, AND SCOOPED the foam into the cup.

(A cappuccino is supposed to be free poured. If MY RETARDED ass can manage to properly make a cappuccino, I know this Mensa candidate can to it.)

I sucked it up and drank the goofy cappuccino.

Lesson learned:
Sometimes, customers actually have a legitimate reason to be pissed off at us. We can, in fact, be morons.

Back again and ready to complain

After a long and much needed hiatus, I have returned to my happy little Starbuck's store.

Stay tuned for cartoon-worthy shenanigans to be posted after each shift.

I will dish all the dirt.

That is, until I am officially dooced.

More later.

Giant Douche?

Hi! My name is Ryan. I used to work for a very busy Starbucks, but then I called in an hour into my shift and quit!
After that, I thought it was perfectly fine to go back to the same store, and try to get them to give me free drinks! They laughed and chased me out with a broom. Then, I came back a few days later, and tried to get a free drink by presenting a service recovery coupon, which I obviously stole.

I got pissed when the register partner ripped it up in my face, smiled, and politely told me to go fuck myself. I haven't been back into the store since then. They are mean!

It's official. Ryan is a giant douche.
Final tally?
Yes: 27
No: 0

How to get free coffee drinks

A particularly sly Starbucks customer made these observations:
(He's right about most of these things... but if someone asks me for a free drink out of earshot of management, not like they give a shit, I'll usually give it to them. Unless, of course, they are a douchebag.

HOW TO GET FREE DRINKS AT STARBUCKS
During my years frequenting Starbucks, I’ve observed ways to beat the system and get free drinks. This is dedicated to your poor schmos who cant afford an affordable luxury. I pay for my drinks but have “accidentally” stumbled on these field-tested rules.

Rule number 1: Go the busiest store near you to capitalize on worker confusion.

The key is to find a *$ that is busy, where confusion makes it easy to get away with things. If you go to an empty store where the person who rings you up is the same person who makes your drink, you aren’t getting away with anything.

Rule number 2: Make it seem like your order was incorrect.

If a barista screws up your order, they correct it and give you a coupon for a free drink the next time you come. Technically this isn’t completely free since you have to make that first purchase, but you can keep the chain alive and get free drinks forever.


Example: “Yeah, um, this is a caramel latte but I actually ordered a vanilla latte.” Of course you really did order a caramel latte but the person who took your order is busy (you’re at a busy *$ remember?) and forgot what you really ordered.

Rule number 3: Purchase something small and then act like a patient, confused customer waiting for his coffee beverage.

A bolder extension of rule number two is the real/fake purchase scam. You first need to order a baked good from the cash register person. After she gives it to you in a bag, mill around for about five minutes and then go to the barista and say, “Have you made a grande white mocha?” Look confused but gentle, like a puppy dog. They will look at their cups and see it was missing, and then promptly add yours to the queue.

Rule number 4: Wait by the bar like a snake and grab a drink that has been sitting there for more than 3 minutes.

At busy stores the inefficiencies in the system cause a lot of duplicate drinks to be made. The drinks sit on the bar for a while until the barista’s throw them away. All you gotta do is go up there and grab a drink. This scam has a couple downsides: the drinks will probably be lukewarm by the time you get it and like a person shopping for a home in a hot real estate market, you will never get your first choice. Most of the drinks are lattes with some wussy modification like a splash of soy milk.

Rule number 5: Greet barista’s by their name.

If you are a regular at a specific store, simply ask for the first names of the people that work there and introduce yourself. They will promptly forget your name but it doesn’t matter, for each time you go there and greet them by name you create a friendly vibe that encourages them to hook you up. It’s acceptable to be a little funny. To milk your connection indefinitely, it may be a good idea to tip them every now and then so they don’t think you are cheap. Little do they know that you are just broke because you have no skills that companies would pay for.

There are holes in every system and if you patient enough its easy to pick them apart with simple observation. I conclude with a disclaimer: don’t blame me if your stupid ass gets caught.

(His blog is here)


free starbucks
starbucks sucks
starbucks

Barista Gone Wild

It seems that the rest of his clothes came off with his green apron. (Press the triangle to play the video)

What? We Were Bored.

I wonder if I'll get dooced for this.






Check out my favorite coffee bums.

dooced

Stop. It's Hammer Time.

Laundry List of Sbux Rants:

1. Our fucking sanitizer (dishwasher) has been broken for um... like a month now. Our chinsey-ass district manager is so concerned about his stupid bonus that he would rather make us wash our dishes by hand than lose a few hundred extra dollars. Don't get me wrong. I don't mind washing dishes by hand, but in a fucking food service establishment it is a. unsanitary and b. time consuming. It's not like we don't already have a million things to do to close the stupid store without having to wash everything by hand.

2. Sbux gives great medical insurance benefits to its "partners". You only have to work 240 hours per quarter to get it, and keep it. (That averages out to be 20 hrs/week.) I recently lost my benefits because I haven't been able to work enough due to a serious illness. The fiscal quarter has just ended again, and I have a chance to get my benefits back. My QTD hrs: 239.37.

I'm not kidding.

3. Our store is practically held together by duct tape and twine. Everything is broken, about to break, or broken and red-neck rigged. We have a shelf that is supported by a huge stack of venti cups. The doors are torn off of two cabinets. Our espresso bars and blenders are about to die at any moment...
We have weekly system issues and have to give away free product...

I'd quit, but then I'd spend 1K on coffee every month.

Woe is me.

Starbucks Pisses Off The Religious Right

Religious activists have been busy at work boycotting Starbucks Corporation because of its progressive attitude towards diversity. Starbucks sponsors gay pride events in many cities, and proudly embraces its gay employees.
The Christian Examiner accuses Starbucks of "promoting the homosexual agenda" with quotes printed on coffee cups. (On a side note, what exactly is this 'homosexual agenda', and why haven't I received a copy of it?)

If you have been to Starbucks recently, you may have noticed different quotes printed on the side of your coffee cup.
One of these quotes, by Armistead Maupin has "sparked a firestorm of controversy" (in the cliché saturated parlance of our media moguls.)

The quote reads: "My only regret about being gay is that I repressed it for so long. I surrendered my youth to the people I feared when I could have been out there loving someone. Don't make that mistake yourself. Life's too damn short."

Baylor University actually went as far as to have 500 cups with the Maupin quote removed from the store.
Linda Ricks, Marketing Program Manager of Baylor Dining Services, said Baylor Dining Services agreed to get rid of the cups out of respect for "Baylor culture.""There are different view points on the Baylor campus, We pulled the cup to be sensitive to view points."

Ricks said Starbucks's headquarters supported the cup removal.

Beneath each quote is printed a cautious disclaimer: "Please note: The opinions put forth by contributors to “The Way I See It” do not necessarily reflect the views of Starbucks." The disclaimer has done little to shield the coffee giant from attacks by right-wing activist groups. Concerned Women For America, a Christian women's organization, which promotes itself as being the antithesis of the National Organization For Women complained that most of the quotes on the cups are liberal.

The group believes that the coffee chain has a responsibility to reflect the diversity of its customers by using a balanced approach in ad campaigns-- or by staying away from socially controversial topics completely.

Maureen Richardson, state director of Concerned Women for America of Washington, stated:
"Corporations have deeper pockets and therefore more influence than individuals do,"
"I think it's wiser for them to stay out of these issues so that they don't offend conservatives and people of faith."
To these companies, she says: "If you want my money, support some of my causes."

"The Way I See It" campaign does not set out to take a political stand but rather to encourage discourse, said Starbucks Spokesperson Audrey Lincoff.
"If you think back to the history of the old coffee houses, before the Internet, these were places to converse," she said. "That's part of what the coffee culture has been for a century or more."

Starbucks doesn't categorize the quotes printed on the cups as liberal or conservative; but rather as a diverse group of intellectuals, artists, musicians, educators and athletes.

"Embracing diversity and treating people with dignity is one of the guiding principles of our corporation," Lincoff said.

Starbucks will not be removing the Maupin quote, or any others from its "The Way I See It Promotion".

starbucks; gay; politics; maupin